vox nihili

Wooow. This...this is good. This is more than good, this is...very good. I love it. I didn't find barely a thing wrong with it. Here's one tip: change verbs more ...

Uh... I have one little suggestion, using an example not from your piece, but I think it will be effective. *agh! I broke the no ellipses resolution* "It isn't a ...

I am a pretty blunt if I say anything in my critique that seems abrupt or harsh, it's just my literal sense of humor playing through...I really just want to ...

I am very literal and brisk... I really don't want to sound too harsh, because so far as I've read, it's good, but down to business: *some of this will ...

I hope I don't sound too harsh, but here's my criticism: one: you really do the whole biography thing in the first few paragraphs. It's interesting but hard to keep ...

First thing: Mona Leef sounds like...a Hawwiian volcano tree or something. Weird simmilie, eh? I love the first name, but it being so unusual, you desperately need a more commonplace ...

Urhm... I have no knowledge whatsoever on any sort of sonnetry. But I am an experienced poet. So here's my say: Your use of the colon after 'an interesting dilemma' ...

I like this poem. It says for the dying what we mourners are too sorrowful to realize. And it says it tactfully, too. I like that oh-so-simple-fact. But you have ...

The last sentence in the last paragraph doesn't make any sense. Read it yourself. "That's cause is a miles-high tall." or "That is cause is a miles high tall." Please, ...

Number one: you must have made the discrepancies in capitalization on purpose. Don't ever do that unless you just want it to look tacky... I'm sorry, but the couplet verse ...

Number one: you seem to be an awesome story teller and a great story-weaver. But you don't do much on the detail, now do you? Try doing more detail. I ...

You have this sort of voice, it just plays through in the first paragraph, that grabs me. Here's my first crit: 'e clouds had wept mercilessly on absolutely every single ...

First off, and don't be offended, but do take this to heart: PUNCTUATION! I know caps isn't pretty, but nor is a poem that has no indication of pause whatsoever. ...

Creepy! Very macrabe, as well. I'd suggest a rating of pg-thirteen. Also, as a heads up, if you write some lame-o post on your own story such as 'oh well, ...

Okay. Now, I might sound overtly literal, but you need, in this poem, unless you're asking what's right or wrong, to choose a side! We readers read it and say ...